Just replace all instances of "Hank" from this Onion article with the name of your choic of about 4 higher-ups at my store and you've got exactly what's going on at work right now:
Vice President Of Making Your Job Harder Given Raise
NEW YORK—According to the buzz around the office, Hank, the Vice-President Of Making Your Job Harder, received a sizable raise Tuesday. "Goddamn it," you said to yourself. "All Hank does around here is screw things up so bad that I have to stay late and fix them. Then he shows up in the morning and rides my ass when things aren't done." At this rate, you decided, you'll never get promoted from the position of Assistant Vice-President Of Cleaning Up Other People's Messes And Never Getting Any Goddamn Credit.There's a new 'boarding movie in the works called Grind, with appearances by Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, Ehren McGhehey and Bam Margera. I think Jason "Getting Back Into Skateboarding" Lee should have been in it, too. *shrugs* Anyway, let me know what you think, eh.
Also I should let you know that I'm quite excited with the results of the latest poll (which is pretty old, actually), because personally, I think that mailing someone a *** glazed **** with ******* in it is without a doubt the best way to irk a bitch that steals all your video games or doesn't do his managerial duties at Best Buy or... shit. You didn't hear that....
